Tuesday, 20 March 2012

NEWCASTLE MUM STATUS UPDATE

Walking along
the street
today

and some guy
shouts "Hey
USA!"

so I asked him
what "USA"
stands for

and his reply
was "U
Sexy Angel"

that was
sweet
of him.

(Hayley Rasoul via Facebook)

6 comments:

  1. South-side Chicago White Guy Update (c. 2009)


    stepping out on the sidewalk
    after two rain-soaked days indoors.
    smoking, staring at how the late afternoon sun
    breaks over the canopy of the park
    across the way.

    the yammering of monk parakeets emerging
    from their thatched nests. the air thick
    and hanging heavily with the aroma
    of drenched earth.

    dark-skinned sister strolling along.
    kerchief-crowned, broadly smiling,
    humming happily to her self, passes
    behind me, continues on ten feet
    past before yelling back
    over her shoulder,
    "hey, gorgeous!"

    thrown, curious, i cast a glance in the other
    direction, down the empty street
    to see who she might be talking to,
    knowing it couldn't have been me.

    this makes her laugh. "well, you
    sure as hell ain't ugly," she hollers,
    w/o breaking stride. "because i don't
    waste my time talking to
    uhhhhglee people."

    isht killed me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awesome. Is this a Greyhoos creation?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah. I used to write stupid stuff while riding the bus, just for the sake of doing so.

    I had another one about an odd dude who often rode my morning route. It was called "Ghost Dog." But I think I lost it long ago.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I believe it gone something like this...


    ghost dog

    dude gets on every morning,
    boarding two stops just past
    my own. always sitting in the back,
    facing forward, each of us in
    our usual spots. him always silent.
    dark-complected, square-headed,
    bespeckled, with the close-cropped
    crescent of a beard stretched across
    his broad, muppetish jaw.

    and always, without variation, the same
    flat black sweats & logoless hoodie. and
    always with a sports bag filled with
    kung-fu magazines of inestimable vintage.
    all of them battered about the edges,
    creased and worn from incessant paging,
    thumbing, scrutiny,and prolonged en route
    erudition.the pages glared at intensely.

    at first i dub him 'hong-kong phooey',
    but quickly settle on the more honorific
    ghost dog.

    never speaking a word, 'cept one day
    when a robed & skullied brother steps
    aboard & greets him. an exchange of
    salutory asalaams, a furtive
    coded handshake, a muttered conversation
    that lasts several stops.

    morning after morning. the shared
    schedule with different destinations.
    his being in deep downtown, off the bus
    and into a bank -- the one with the big
    gumdrop-shop agam presiding over the lobby -- where i imagine he must work as a security
    guard, daily trading in his one uniform for
    another each day, solemnly, broodingly,
    vigilantly keeping watch. and i can't help
    but pity in advance the aspiring thief who
    tries to heist the place, unforeseeing
    that it will only end with a crushed trachea
    and bones snapping like dry linguine
    once dude goes all ninja on his
    ill-conceiving ass.

    but one day he boards the bus with a box --
    a gift, judging by the bow and the wrapping.
    maybe a birthday gift, maybe from his sister.
    he sits and opens it, extracting from the thing
    a purple dress shirt, which gives him pause, glaring
    at the thing in utter incomprehension.

    then letting it fall from his grasp
    with a sleeve dangling out the flap of
    the box like a strangulated tongue.
    he shakes his head, befuddled; stares
    indignantly out the window
    watching the trees
    tumble past.

    purple?

    purple!

    doesn't she know
    that ghost dog
    doesn't roll
    like that?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like it very much. William Carlos Williams of the long line.

    ReplyDelete