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By god, the new Kings of Leon stuff is just embarassingly shit isn't it?
People have been banging on for a while now about a certain strand of 'indie' guitar rock having become interchangeable with '80s MOR - the much-vaunted Razorlight/Dire Straits comparison being an example that springs readily to mind.
But 'Use Somebody' is to my ears actually worse, by some distance, than anything Dire Straits ever did.
In years to come we will look back on this kind of thing as a joke that got spectacularly out of hand.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Monday, 24 November 2008
DJ DAN ENGLISH TACKLES BADLY DRAWN BOY (NO TWEAKING NEEDED HERE)
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DEEJ: Badly Drawn Boy! Me and my mates used to listen to your first album all the time when we were about 16!
BDB: Oh OK.
DEEJ: Yeah it was sweet! Haven't listened to any of the stuff you've done since then though.
BDB: Well, actually, my subsequent work has been as good, if not better, than the first record.
DEEJ: Really?
BDB: Yes.
DEEJ: Badly Drawn Boy! Me and my mates used to listen to your first album all the time when we were about 16!
BDB: Oh OK.
DEEJ: Yeah it was sweet! Haven't listened to any of the stuff you've done since then though.
BDB: Well, actually, my subsequent work has been as good, if not better, than the first record.
DEEJ: Really?
BDB: Yes.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
'I HOPE YOU DEFEAT THIS UK INFLUENZA'
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... says Zane to TV on the Radio.
You can say that a-fucking-gain.
(Every time I hear 'Family Tree' it reminds me how much more hopeful I am about where things in general are headed than this time last year - melancholy and elegiac bleakness redirected by the unmistakeable, unstoppable sound of pure-driven, old-fashioned American optimism.
Moving stuff from the TV/Radio lads.)
... says Zane to TV on the Radio.
You can say that a-fucking-gain.
(Every time I hear 'Family Tree' it reminds me how much more hopeful I am about where things in general are headed than this time last year - melancholy and elegiac bleakness redirected by the unmistakeable, unstoppable sound of pure-driven, old-fashioned American optimism.
Moving stuff from the TV/Radio lads.)
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
AT THE HMV SALES COUNTER, STRANGE THINGS CAN HAPPEN
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WOMAN: Do you do older-type music?
HMV SALES GUY: ...
WOMAN: Do you do older-type music: The Nivens?
HMV: What?!
WOMAN: The Nivens. It's an older-type music.
HMV: The Livings?!
WOMAN: The Nivens: N-I-V-E-N-S.
ME: ...
WOMAN: Do you do older-type music?
HMV SALES GUY: ...
WOMAN: Do you do older-type music: The Nivens?
HMV: What?!
WOMAN: The Nivens. It's an older-type music.
HMV: The Livings?!
WOMAN: The Nivens: N-I-V-E-N-S.
ME: ...
Thursday, 30 October 2008
Monday, 20 October 2008
EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS
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Extract from the Bella Italia waiter training manual:
SECTION TITLE: EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS
1) Think about your worst ever experience as a customer. How did it make you feel? Did you ever use that company again?
I WRITE: Bad. No.
2) What do you think we mean by 'Exceeding expectations'?
I THINK: Is this some kind of provocative Magrittean language game?
I WRITE: Nothing. I become so baffled from this point onwards that I genuinely can't muster any kind of response.
3) Pretend I don't understand 'exceeding expectations' and explain it to me so that I could go away and deliver it.
...
4) Do we have a manual on how to exceed expectations? If not, why not?
...
5)Who benefits when expectations are exceeded?
...
Extract from the Bella Italia waiter training manual:
SECTION TITLE: EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS
1) Think about your worst ever experience as a customer. How did it make you feel? Did you ever use that company again?
I WRITE: Bad. No.
2) What do you think we mean by 'Exceeding expectations'?
I THINK: Is this some kind of provocative Magrittean language game?
I WRITE: Nothing. I become so baffled from this point onwards that I genuinely can't muster any kind of response.
3) Pretend I don't understand 'exceeding expectations' and explain it to me so that I could go away and deliver it.
...
4) Do we have a manual on how to exceed expectations? If not, why not?
...
5)Who benefits when expectations are exceeded?
...
Sunday, 19 October 2008
THE TREE IS REALLY ROOTED IN THE SKY
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Ay ay, that Simone Weil was pretty good wasn't she?
'When science, art, literature and philosophy are simply the manifestation of a personality they are on a level where glorious and dazzling achievements are possible, which can make a man's name live for a thousand years. But above this level, far above, seperated by an abyss, is the level where the highest things are achieved. These things are essentially anonymous'
Ay ay, that Simone Weil was pretty good wasn't she?
'When science, art, literature and philosophy are simply the manifestation of a personality they are on a level where glorious and dazzling achievements are possible, which can make a man's name live for a thousand years. But above this level, far above, seperated by an abyss, is the level where the highest things are achieved. These things are essentially anonymous'
Friday, 17 October 2008
'A RECORD WITH NO WORDS, ONLY SIGHS'
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Chris Moyles's actually pretty perceptive summation of 'Creep'.
Aside from the fact that this is, from a certain viewpoint, a remarkably poetic and lovely evocation of a relatively mediocre tune, Moyles also picks up on an issue that I've been mulling over for some time, namely: that Radiohead's great tragic flaw consists in the perennial non-rythmic amorphousness of Thom Yorke's vocal phrasing.
Listen to any given 'Head tune with this fact in mind and I promise you the nagging question that has been gnawing away at your musical psyche for years ('I adore my Radiohead, but why can't I truly love him?') will be instantaneously demystified.
'Bullet Proof', 'Airbag', 'No Surprises', 'Knives Out', 'Pyramid Song': WHERE IS THE FUCKING RHYTHM IN THE VOCAL PART?!?!!
When Mr Yorke does bother to inject a bit of gumption into his writing for voice (bits of 'Paranoid Android', 'The Bends', 'Just', 'Ideoteque', the much-underrated 'Wolf at the Door') the results are nearly always gratifyingly good, so I really don't understand why he spends so much time failing to rise above his default ethereal sigh (top marks for this on a purely melodic level, but a good songwriter really must be consistently hitting the bullseye on both targets - melodic and rhythmic).
Anyway, all of this merely serves to confirm my longstanding suspicion that Chris Moyles is the modern-day Samuel Johnson.
But more on this later.
Chris Moyles's actually pretty perceptive summation of 'Creep'.
Aside from the fact that this is, from a certain viewpoint, a remarkably poetic and lovely evocation of a relatively mediocre tune, Moyles also picks up on an issue that I've been mulling over for some time, namely: that Radiohead's great tragic flaw consists in the perennial non-rythmic amorphousness of Thom Yorke's vocal phrasing.
Listen to any given 'Head tune with this fact in mind and I promise you the nagging question that has been gnawing away at your musical psyche for years ('I adore my Radiohead, but why can't I truly love him?') will be instantaneously demystified.
'Bullet Proof', 'Airbag', 'No Surprises', 'Knives Out', 'Pyramid Song': WHERE IS THE FUCKING RHYTHM IN THE VOCAL PART?!?!!
When Mr Yorke does bother to inject a bit of gumption into his writing for voice (bits of 'Paranoid Android', 'The Bends', 'Just', 'Ideoteque', the much-underrated 'Wolf at the Door') the results are nearly always gratifyingly good, so I really don't understand why he spends so much time failing to rise above his default ethereal sigh (top marks for this on a purely melodic level, but a good songwriter really must be consistently hitting the bullseye on both targets - melodic and rhythmic).
Anyway, all of this merely serves to confirm my longstanding suspicion that Chris Moyles is the modern-day Samuel Johnson.
But more on this later.
Monday, 22 September 2008
THE BEST HOUSE TUNE EVER IS ...
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... 'What Else Is There?' by Royksopp (Thin White Duke Remix)
A title that is the very definition of negative capability, and a tune that defies verbal summary, this is, as Byron would've had it, the thing.
Shite cover though.
... 'What Else Is There?' by Royksopp (Thin White Duke Remix)
A title that is the very definition of negative capability, and a tune that defies verbal summary, this is, as Byron would've had it, the thing.
Shite cover though.
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